I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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