my vag is so smooth its legendary
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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