I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
