yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
