omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher