remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow