bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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