I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.