respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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