Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day