And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao