We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
