Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
