you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
