We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
