she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
