Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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