hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
