I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
