k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I supernannyed him into submission
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