now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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