Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
