You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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