Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
