Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize