JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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