how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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