he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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