I just saw a hot homeless man
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
