I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
