i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize