Me. At least after what I've been through.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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