We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize