You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize