you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
