Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
