i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
