Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
