he wants to bone in the snuggie
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
