I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
