i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
