exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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