hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
