at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
