their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize