So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
