The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
