sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
