And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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