You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
