The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
