Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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