So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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