you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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