let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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