I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drake has all the answers
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
