with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
