Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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