Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
