it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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