hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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