those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
