ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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