There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
