Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my shit smells like andre
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
