I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
