Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My vagina is very pro this idea
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
