I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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