Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
