You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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