hotel room ftw
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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